Only God Does That

Of all the names for Jesus, Redeemer is my favorite. Why? Because of the very personal way God redeemed our family two years ago. Christmas is a reminder of God's redemption for all mankind in the form of a tiny baby who was sent to save the world. So it should come as no surprise that when we lost our Christmas baby, Abigail, in 2006, the holidays became a difficult time of year for us -- instead of a time of joy, Christmas became an annual reminder of what we had lost and who was missing. A time of sorrow.

The Bible is full of reminders of God's redemption and promises that He will take that which is lost or destroyed and bring forth something beautiful. But it has never been so personal for us as the Christmas when we got to bring home our Hope -- Galina Hope. When we boarded that airplane for Russia in August, 2011, we had no idea who this little person was. We did not know what she looked like, how old she was, or when she was born.

But God did ...

We had been waiting almost 3 years for this little person to join our family when we finally got the call. We were impatient and weary, but God's plan was in full motion, doing what He does best: putting all the pieces into place. We pulled up to the tiny orphanage and walked with anticipation to finally meet our little girl. Then it all unfolded ... all this waiting ... and what God was doing ... revealed in these final moments! She was two. Blonde hair. Hazel eyes. Exact heart defect as Abby, only hers was healed. Born on December 15th, Abby's due date. And we would have her home in time for Christmas! Our Christmas baby and God's redemption. Christmas would no longer be a time of sorrow for our family, but the celebration of Hope! Christmas, redeemed!!! Only God does that.

Galina's adoption was final on 11/1/11 and we brought her home on 11/9/11, just in time for Thanksgiving, her 3rd birthday, and Christmas. God's perfect timing after all that waiting. Every detail in perfect place. God's redemption.

This Christmas, we celebrate Hope: hope in the form of a tiny baby who was sent to save the world and the Hope that God gave our family two short years ago in the form of a precious little girl. Happy birthday, Galina Hope! You are very, very, very loved!

Please help bring Return to Zero to theaters!

Dear Friends & Family, 

As you may already know, I have volunteered to be a "local leader" to promote the new film, Return to Zero. This film, starring Minnie Driver, is the first ever created with stillbirth as its central theme. The writers/producers have created a beautiful and touching film that will change how people view stillbirth and the effect it has on parents, relationships, families, and communities. The story is very similar to ours. A happy couple loses their child right before he's supposed to be born and they must overcome their grief to save their relationship and build a family together.

As a local leader, I am spreading the word to help bring this film to theaters. While the film will be shown at many popular film festivals, the writers/producers have to "prove" that there is an audience large enough to justify bringing it to theaters. This is where YOU can help! Below is a link to make a "pledge" to see this film when it is released. You are not being asked to pledge money, just to pledge to see the film opening weekend (which has yet to be determined). The goal is to have 150,000 signatures by June 20th. Your signature will help bring the film to theaters and provide an avenue of healing for many.

Here are some thoughts from the writer/producer's wife:

"I think this film is turning out to be an opportunity for healing. I never connected with any support groups after losing our son, but now I am seeing the similarities in experiences with others who have lost babies, and I don't feel so alone. I am now committed to bringing awareness and education to the community so that change can happen. I hope you too will find connection with others that will help you heal."
~ Kiley Hannish

Please watch this three minute video to learn more about Return to Zero and then click the link below to make your pledge!

Watch the three minute video about RTZ here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Gq7OL-0fs4&feature=youtu.be

Make your pledge to see RTZ in theaters here:*
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1HqU43R7iij8WJt1bavZkmjhmPdci56qakUUKt2VfvWg/viewform?pli=1
*Please list me, Emily Werner, as your local leader (even if you don't live near me, it helps RTZ track how you heard about the film!)

By pledging to see Return to Zero in theaters on opening weekend when it shows in your community, you will prove to Hollywood that that there is an audience for a film about this difficult, but important, subject matter.

In their memory!

~ Emily

To sign up to be a local leader in YOUR community, click here:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1jQsys3eU7ZndUgbdMvcDiqrgQPmREFRmb_1kvl0YhWw/viewform?pli=1

Visit RTZ on Facebook here:
https://www.facebook.com/returntozerofilm

Visit the RTZ website here:
http://www.returntozerothemovie.com/

Eighteen Months Home

Eighteen months!  We have been home eighteen months today and Galina is absolutely thriving!  She is such a miracle!  We are so proud of her and how well she has transitioned, first, to her new family and, then, to her new city.  We have had some bumps, but overall she is doing great and we couldn't be happier!

We have settled into life in Wyoming and Galina has two new very special friends here, also adopted from Russia, who have been such a blessing in her life.  We are in awe at how God set up their friendship.  These two little girls are like big sisters and dote on her every chance they get.  Here they are at church together on a Sunday morning (Galina has a mint in her mouth, lol):

Incidentally, this weekend is Mother's Day, which, if I'm honest, is actually my real motivation for writing today.  Ben, Abby, Zach and Galina "Hope" all made me a mom and changed my life forever.  I am truly amazed when I think about it.  God has done such a miracle in our lives through each of our children and I am so, so thankful for all of them.  I hope someday to share my whole story, but it seems almost impossible to put into words everything God has done.  I know He will give me the words when the time is right.  Instead, I'd like to share some thoughts about Mother's Day ...

Mother's Day is a very difficult time for many women.  This is something close to my heart.  For years I ached to be able to stand up in church when all the mothers were recognized and I struggled through the lonliness of infertility and then, again, the heartache of my first few Mother's Days after Abby died.  Here is a little something I wrote and shared in church one Mother's Day in the early years of in my grief.  Please read and pray about what you can do for the women in your life who need a special touch this year:

Mother's Day is a celebration of motherhood, but for some it is a painful reminder of what they don't have. Whether due to miscarriage, stillbirth, death of a child at any age, giving up a child for adoption, or even abortion, many women hurt deeply on Mother's Day over the loss of a child. Some mothers hurt today because their children have chosen a life of drugs or abuse or have simply rejected them. And then there are the motherless children, young and old, who hurt because they are missing their mothers today. Some hurt because their mothers have died and others hurt because their mothers are merely absent from their lives. Either way, it is painful.

There is another category of those who hurt on Mother's Day that is often overlooked: those who long to be mothers, but are struggling with infertility, or even those who are single and long to be married so they can start a family, but are forced to wait because they haven't found "the one". Needless to say, for many, Mother's Day is a painful time. A lot of these women choose to avoid going to church on Mother's Day for this reason. And the brave who do come often feel isolated and invisible in their pain. It is important that we remember those who are missing their children or mothers today, for whatever reason, and those who long to be mothers but feel like that day will never come. We remember and honor you today.

When my daughter died, the Lord gave me many verses to comfort me. One of them was Psalm 56:8, "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." I also remembered that Jesus was a man of sorrows and acquainted with the bitterest grief. He knew my pain and longed to comfort me. But Isaiah 53:3-5 says, "We turned our backs on Him and looked the other way when He went by. He was despised, and we did not care. Yet it was our weaknesses He carried; it was our sorrow that weighed Him down. And we thought His troubles were a punishment from God for his own sins! But He was wounded and crushed for our sins. He was beaten that we might have peace. He was whipped and we were healed."

God lost His own Son. At times that didn't comfort me. I thought, "He is God! He can handle it. I'm human. It's different." (And He got his Son back pretty quickly). But a close friend, who also lost a child at birth, made a very good point that proved that God does know the deep pain of losing a child -- every person who rejects Him is lost to Him forever -- a precious child who will be separated from Him for eternity. I will see my daughter again and there will be no more tears and no more pain on that day. Those who reject Him, He loses forever.

No matter what your situation, God sees your tears. He knows your heart. He hears your pain. And He longs to comfort you. Lamentations 3:31-33 says, "For the Lord does not abandon anyone forever. Though He brings grief, He also shows compassion according to the greatness of His unfailing love. For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow." He loves you and wants to care for you. I pray today that you will give your pain and sorrow over to Him and allow Him to be your strength.

Some tips for helping hurting moms and others who are grieving on Mother's Day (or for yourself, if you are grieving a loss):

*Create an online memorial or scrapbook (or offer to help create one)
*Buy a special gift in memory of the lost loved one (gifts with the lost loved one's name are especially meaningful)
*Keep the lost loved one's memory alive through pictures, stories, memorials, etc. and keep talking about him/her 
*Plant a tree or flowers in memory of the lost loved one
*Pray for the person who is grieving, even if it is yourself
*Reach out and volunteer in your church or community or do random acts of kindness in the lost loved one's memory
*Send an email to Heaven (name@heaven.com) and print it to give to the lost loved one's family to show that you remembered
*Celebrate the lost loved one's life and do things to keep their memory alive such as remembering special dates (birthdays, anniversaries, etc.)
*Wear something special to remember the lost loved one
*Send an email or card to those you know will have a difficult Mother's Day
*Mention the lost loved one's name and don't be afraid to bring up the loss
*Encourage the grieving to talk and be willing to listen and care

For more tips on how to help grieving moms (and dads), please visit:

http://www.firstcandle.org/grieving-families/friends-relatives/

In Memory of Abigail Graceland Werner 

♥ November 29, 2006 ♥

www.abigail-werner.memory-of.com

And our tiny baby, Zach,
miscarried on June 24, 2008
Never forgotten!
♥♥♥

I just feel like if I don't write this, my heart will explode.  I am so full of love and thankfulness and joy tonight.  The road to Hope was so long and there were times I felt my heart would break into a million pieces, but somehow we made it and just listening to a house full of giggles and laughter makes my heart so full that I can hardly contain the joy!  I can't believe she ... both of them ... are here.  It was 16 years ago this month that we were told I would never be able to have a child.  And here we are, the parents of not one, but four children.  My precious daughter, Abigail, and my sweet tiny baby, Zach, will always be in my heart, but the joy of the two that are in my arms is uncontainable. I am just so, so thankful today and wanted to share the joy in my heart!

Lord, for all you have done for me, I just wanted to thank you ...

STUCK

I am so grateful that Galina made it home and that she is not "stuck."  Please pray for the children that are still waiting for their forever families and the families that are still waiting for them ...

STUCK TRAILER from Both Ends Burning Campaign on Vimeo.

Russian Adoption Ban Frustrates American Couples

An adoption ban was threatened several times during our wait to bring Galina home, but now it has become a reality and there are many children caught in the middle of the adoption process who will not be able to come home.  Here is an update.  So sad!

Russian Adoption Ban Frustrates American Couples

(click link above to read story)

Happy New Year 2013

(click on picture to view larger image) 

Happy New Year!  This was going to be a Christmas letter, but our entire family (except Chad) came down with the flu and has been sick since Christmas Eve.  Thankfully, we were feeling pretty good on Christmas Day and were able to enjoy a morning of opening presents and celebrating before we started really feeling bad.  We are all finally starting to feel better and are looking forward to an exciting New Year in Cheyenne!

So much has happened in 2012, I don’t know where to start!  Galina enjoyed a wonderful first year home from Russia and time getting to know her extended family.  We put our house on the market over the summer and began to pursue plans to help bring Teen Challenge to Wyoming, as we have felt called to do for several years.  The doors first opened in 2009, but it just wasn’t God’s timing.  We knew we needed to complete Galina’s adoption and allow her time to bond with her family first.  However, we felt the Lord leading us to try again this year and our house sold quickly after we put it on the market.  We received a series of confirmations and moved on November 3rd, exactly one year from our “gotcha” day in Russia (the day we received custody of Galina).  We are so happy she was able to have that first year in Ohio to get to know all of her aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents.  They have made a lasting impression on her and she now clearly identifies them as her “family.”  Thank you for understanding our need to keep her world small during the first year.  We felt it was important that she spent that time getting to know her family first, especially with the possibility of moving ahead of us.  We are now settling into life in Wyoming, exploring and making new friends!

Chad is currently working as Senior Case Manager at Comea House & Resource Center (www.comeashelter.org) in Cheyenne.  Comea House is an emergency shelter for men, women and families experiencing homelessness.  Residents at the shelter receive a hot, nutritious meal at night and breakfast in the morning; showers; access to the free clothing pantry; and free medical attention at Cheyenne Crossroads Clinic next door. Currently, the shelter can accommodate 50 men, 12 women and two families at a time.  Chad has also been working in the community to start a local Lifeline Connection (www.lifelineconnection.org).  Lifeline Connection is ministry of Teen Challenge offering a faith-based alternative to court-ordered secular groups and is the first step in introducing Teen Challenge in a new area.  It has been amazing to see how God has already put the desire for a faith based program in the hearts of the believers here.  Two local churches in Cheyenne have already agreed to host a Lifeline and our church is hosting a training seminar in March for community leaders in Cheyenne and other parts of the state.  The need, support and desire for Teen Challenge in Wyoming are strong and everyone we meet is excited about the possibility of a residential program here.  We are excited to see how God puts all the pieces together in His time.  We will be starting a newsletter for anyone who might be interested in hearing the progress or supporting the ministry in some way.  Please let us know if you’d like to be on the mailing list.

Benjamin and Galina continue to excel in their studies and we have enjoyed the freedom of home schooling amidst all of our travels.  We spent some time during our first few weeks on field trips learning about and getting to know our new community and state.  We were able to visit the State Capitol and learn many interesting facts about Wyoming’s history.  We also went on a field trip to the Wyoming Welcome Center with the local homeschool group and have attended some fun events such as roller skating and the homeschool Christmas party at the Laramie County Library, which has given us a chance to make some new friends.  We also have enjoyed hiking and had the amazing experience of cutting down our Christmas tree the way the pioneers did it.  We traveled to the Snowy Range in the Medicine Bow National Forest and cut down a tree in the mountains.  During our hike through the forest, we saw evidence of lots of different wildlife.  Little did we know that the “droppings” we saw belonged to the local black bears!  Good thing there were a lot of other people there that day.  I’m sure they were far from our tree cutting site.

We were sad to see that Russia placed a ban on international adoptions beginning on January 1, 2013.  The faces of the orphans we saw on our two trips there in 2011 will be imprinted on our hearts forever.  Please join us in prayer for President Putin and the leaders of the Russian Duma as well as the many families and children who were in process that will not be allowed to complete their adoptions.  We are so grateful that Galina made it home before this happened and our hearts ache to think of those children who will not be able to have a forever family due to this new law.

We have enjoyed many new experiences in our new home and are looking forward to many more.  We are thankful for the many ways God has blessed us, including new friends and a wonderful church family.  We wish we would have had more time to say our goodbyes to everyone in Cincinnati, but hope to be back for a visit in the spring.  We have an extra bedroom and would love to be your host and tour guide if you ever have the desire for a western vacation!

May God bless you and keep you healthy in the New Year!
 
Blessings,
Chad, Emily, Benjamin & Galina “Hope”